how to go about this – fiance was fired from work by my (our) friends – invite to wedding?
Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at
8:56 pm
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Filed under: Business Phone Systems
You can still be on friendly terms with them, BUT you don’t have to invite them to your wedding.
Time to move on. My friends bring absolute joy to my life, not stress.
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Work issues aside you tried to maintain a friendship and she blew you off every time. Yeah everyone is busy but to go so long without a call or blow off lunches you set up is here way of showing you she doesn’t want to be friends without actually having to say it. Friendships are like all relationships and they take work. Don’t waste the money on a couple of guests who don’t care about you and your Fiance.
There’s too much bad blood and lack of consideration on their part.
I would just get on with life and not invite them. As much as I can understand your man not wanting to hold a grudge, there IS a difference between holding a grudge against someone, and wanting to keep certain distance from someone.
Were I you, there is no way in heaven or on Earth that I would have them at my wedding. EVER.
*big hug* and best of luck to you both.
P.S. to Libby, below:
These ‘friends’ of the writer fired her man once … invited him back, but as the replacement of two people …then these intrepid business owners had the temerity to tell him to work faster, while doing the work of two people (plus, let’s not forget, also having him come in and work on weekends) … they had the balls to tell him to spend less time on quality in order to work faster, while doing the work of two people (and, if you would re-read the original post by the writer, the business owners during this time hadn’t put in place some of the organizational processes that would have made this job easier to do for one person … so, because of this …) they THEN had the balls to tell him that he’s too slow and he’s fired?
UNREAL ! And so WHAT if they spend 80 hours a week – that’s what they’re supposed to do AS business owners!
I’m sure that until we all own our own business, we can’t understand how the business owners in this situation feel. Having seen this small glimpse, they probably are both feeling some guilt for having treated their FRIEND this way. They should feel pretty bad. Imagine if he wasn’t a friend, and they treated just your average Joe like that … it’s still abominable.
In all sincerity, everyone should be able to put business aside for three things: The birth of a child, a death in the family, or an engagement and upcoming wedding. For her friend to not be the slightest bit interested in seeing her ring or offering her any goodwill … well, that’s all I need to know as far as where the writer stands.
YES, Libby, the writer and her man were the victim in this. Are you being obtuse on purpose?? Right now, I really could give a rats ass what their ‘friends’ are going through as business owners, because they suck at it. You don’t fire someone, then invite them back but as a replacement for two people, and then tell him to go faster and spend less time on quality … and then fire him for being too slow. That’s just … idiotic, stupid and flat out wrong!
To the writer: I stand by my original statement. Don’t have them at your wedding, and just put distance between you all. Move on, and I wish you the best of everything.
While I don’t believe that business problems should interfere with wedding invitations, it seems that these "friends" of yours have little to no desire to be involved in your lives despite the fact that your fiancee has been one of their best and most loyal employees. I don’t know what this says about your male "friend’s" business sense but it appears that they regard you more as acquaintances than as real friends. I say cut them out.
Sorry, in this day and age businesses fail. They were aware of how bad the business was the first time they let him go and it just went down hill from there. Being friends, I am sure they didn’t want you to know how bad things were for them. If you want them to be friends in the future, invite them. If he doesn’t want to socialize with them in the future, don’t invite them. If he has not found employment since being fired, don’t invite them. It would only ruin his day. If you want to be friends with her in the future, talk with her now, clear the air. Decide from that conversation if an invitation is pending. Let her know at that time your decision and why. Best of luck to you both.
Well if her business is going down the tubes she probably had all of that on her mind when you thought she was snubbing you but that being said I get the situation, you don’t HAVE to invite anyone to your wedding and if you feel they aren’t really good friends to either of you why even ask if you should invite them? If they ask tell them you’re keeping it intimate and with the economy (hint hint you just fired my fiance) you’re trying to keep costs lower.
Have you ever run a business? Oh, you haven’t? Then you have no idea how hard it is. If your fiance was putting in 40 hours, they were putting in 80. With no weekends. Believe me, your friends have MUCH more important things to focus on than asking to see your ring… like inventory and business loans an infrastructure and quarterly taxes.
Your friends made a mistake by hiring someone they knew, because when you hire someone you know, you can’t make business decisions that are just about business. They become *personal.* There is no possible way they could have let go of your fiance without him getting butthurt over it… they’ve probably learned form that mistake and will never hire a friend or a relative again.
Whether you want to continue to be friends with them is up to you. But you’re acting as if you were helpless victims who were totally screwed over by Evil Business Owners, without sparing a thought for your friends’ situation. Yeah, sucks they hit hard financial times with the business and your fiance suffered for it… but until you run your own small business and have to pull a miracle out of out a** to keep from going bankrupt, don’t presume that you know what it’s like for them.