hi all~ there are 3 issues here; first the background –

i’m the fiancee of a great guy and one of my best friends and her husband hired him in mid-2009 to work in their small biz shop. (My fiance also counted them as his friends; he has his own history with them. They’ve been friends with me 8 years, with some time off cause we were living in different states; a little less for him.)

They spoke to us that my fiance could really be the guy for the long-term, they want to groom him, and well, my fiance was excited. The nature of what they sell is *very* specific and you might say a little controversial and I personally have literally not met anyone in my major metropolitan area who would a) have that specific knowledge or b) truly care as much as my fiance did about his work and my friends’ business. My fiance created a product that went viral soon after it was placed for sale — it received coverage in a major newspaper. My fiance’s freaking smart. :-)

well – first time they let my fiance go because their small biz was broke – they literally showed us the bank account statements – and they couldn’t afford to pay him. Fine. A week or so later they apparently realized their mistake and hired him back. He had extreme loyalty to them, and they had hired him to replace TWO employees. Well, as weeks progressed and my friends the business owners still hadn’t set systems in place for organization and work process, my fiance began to hear his boss tell him to work more quickly, multi-task more, take less time on quality. My fiance did the best he could and tried to be understanding. Long story short the male biz owner called my fiance on a Sunday night right after he had put in a half day of work on the weekend to say, sorry, too slow, things are still too backed up, we need someone in here who can do everything faster, you’re out of a job.

My fiance was BLINDSIDED. He was in *grief*. Actual literal grief. My heart ached for him, and I felt foolish for being so optimistic in the first place. My fiance, by all my observations ( i’m aware i have a bias ) was the very best and most *trustworthy* person they’ll hope to find. I fully respect that a business owner can run his/her business as he sees fit. My thing is, I feel there was so much missing in terms of communication, smarts and basic respect from them while he was on the job… I saw sides of them I’d never seen before, and I was disappointed.

issue A) – my own personal problems with my female friend the biz owner; I feel ignored and cast aside. One month before they fired him, my female friend had been very difficult to get responses from via phone or email, not responding to messages, if we would run into each other afterwards, I always heard the refrain of "sorry I’ve been busy". Usually I would have to place calls to her just to be social. One time when she and I were face to face at the shop I invited her to lunch, she said yeah, definitely, we’ll do lunch next week. I said great… but no follow up from her, nothing. I understand busy-ness. I work full time and got lots going on and keep a busy schedule too.

It was at this time my fiance got me my beautiful custom made engagement ring and we formally announced our engagement. Messages and calls poured in for best wishes and congrats — again, I heard *nothing* from my female friend! She hadn’t seen the ring and expressed no interest in seeing it. I was and continue to be ASTONISHED at this. …But a week or so after her husband FIRED my fiance, she left a message to call her — she wanted to know if we were coming to her Halloween party, apparently as her ‘no hard feelings’ gesture. I could only laugh. Here we were, newly engaged, planning a wedding, with one of us suddenly out of a job, money tight as hell, newly moved into a new apartment — and she’s concerned about if we will grace her goddamned party. Well suffice to say, she got nothing from us. My fiance had been curious if her husband would even call just as a follow-up, or to see if he found a couple cds of his – nothing from him. Meanwhile, I wanted to see what she would be motivated to do in November. No follow up calls, no emails did I receive from her either.

issue B) – is my fiance’s grief/disappointment and lack of respect for our friend the male business owner. Last time we discussed it, my fiance did not want anything to do with them, and him especially. However, the other day my fiance did say that he did not want to hold a grudge against them.

NOW… our WEDDING is coming up- and we have-

issue C) – is I want to respect my fiance and create the best day for him, as he is for me. He has not yet suggested we be in talks with them or invite them to the wedding. I *could* feel good about inviting them, but in my opinion my female friend would have to get right with me first and stop being such a deadbeat friend (it’s always "call me!"). I feel like I’ve made too many overtures that were spurned, and that s
(continued) that she just plain didn’t care about what was going on in my life. Yet we heard through the grapevine that they were worried and upset that we weren’t at their party.

This sucks. We’re in a limbo, no one wants to make a move first, and I’m seriously thinking of enlisting the assistance of a third party — a mutual friend to all four of us. As it stands right now, I’m going to be sad if they wouldn’t be there at the wedding, and sad if they would be there at the wedding without a full airing out of the situation and grievances.

Ideas, plans, admonishments, praise, criticism? Let me know! Thanks.

** p.s. – he and I met, by and large, through this couple. :-( :-) **